Oral Sex Should Be Less Kung Fu, More Tai Chi

Sexpert Dr. Ian Kerner calls on martial arts to teach men about good oral sex for women.
From the Department of Unexpected Sex Tips: A New York-based sexpert insists that men can improve their oral sex skills by comparing their cunnilingus style to martial arts.
Excellent. Is Bruce Lee what we want our partners thinking about while they're riding the southbound train?
As renowned sexpert Ian Kerner wrote recently, many men take an overly aggressive approach to oral sex that leaves their partners groaning in annoyance instead of moaning in ecstasy.

Kerner explains: "Kung fu has come to mean a style of rapid punches, sharp kicks and chopping blows. If you watch a lot of porn (and a lot of people do these days), you would think that female satisfaction relies on a 'kung fu' approach to pleasuring. Tai chi, on the other hand, is slow, focused and graceful, with an emphasis on the balance of yin/yang -- male/female energy -- to create a harmony of movement and strength."

We're not crazy about the fact that female pleasure has to be framed in terms of bloodsports for guys to get it, but Kerner does have a point.
He says, "Giving expert oral pleasure requires learning appropriate techniques and then applying them consistently over time in a focused, patient, and loving manner; most importantly, it requires respecting, sharing and participating wholly in the erotic intimacy of the moment." Oral Sex: Love It Or Hate It?
Kerner's approach emphasizes slow, sensual movement and continued physical connection, instead of the "the lack of consistent, rhythmic pressure" and "the mad stampede for the clitoris" that he says characterize many men's approaches to oral intimacy. He suggests a technique he calls The Mount Method.
Sexpert Dr. Ian Kerner calls on martial arts to teach men about good oral sex for women.

"Both men and women have a mount: a man’s is the area of his upper lip just above your teeth known as the maxilla, while hers is the center of the pubic bone, where there is a slight cradle into which your mount naturally fits. Connecting your respective mounts and maintaining that persistent connection throughout the process of arousal is essential to mind-blowing oral pleasure."
Slow, steady pressure, and focused attention on what the female wants? We see why Dr. Kerner's a sex guru. The tai chi metaphor still makes us giggle, but frankly, we'd explain sex in terms of Nintendo games, if it meant getting great action in the bedroom.
Kerner explains that his method is a response to the overwhelming body of research suggests that women respond more quickly and positively to light, consistent external touch than aggressive or inconsistent techniques. He cites studies by respected sources Alfred Kinsey and The Joy of Sex author, Dr. Alex Comfort, in backing up his approach. The Etiquette Of Oral Sex

So there you have it. Go tell your man that oral sex should be less Kung Fu, more Tai Chi. Maybe he'll pick up on Kerner's tips and gives you some mind-bending experiences of your very own.
We'll leave the wax-on, wax-off jokes up to you.
Image Credit: ThinkStock

One Brave Guy Confesses Why He LOVES When You Masturbate

"It’s vulnerable, and intimate, and epically eye-crossing."
By John DeVore
There are two types of women in the world: women who are totally comfortable with masturbation and those who are ashamed of the act.
I realize there are more than two types of women in the world, so forgive my rhetorical cheat. It’s for a good cause.
I don’t know why some women are weird about pleasuring themselves. I am not, in fact, a woman. But to those who are embarrassed about it, please, think about rubbing one out for your boyfriend or husband tonight. He will love it.
There are few spectacles as captivating as a woman getting herself off. It is pure sex on toast. Watching your girl squirm, growl, and hit the right buttons while you whisper dirty little secrets and improper commands is so hot, it makes my guts ache.

It’s vulnerable, and intimate, and epically eye-crossing.
Not to mention: a woman who knows how to detonate her own “O”-bomb, is a woman who is determined to get some when she’s crunching it out with her man. Which is to say, she is more likely to bring the thunder in bed, as you both buck, bite, and claw your way to climaxes that are your birthright.
Everybody has the right to orgasms that leave you flush, mildly stinky, and staring blankly at ceilings.
Of course, there was that one girlfriend who was such a master of the orgasmic arts that when she introduced her “rabbit” vibrator, all I could ask was, “So, you’re into giant, pink Sasquatches from Mars?” I didn’t really tell her that, as I knew it was a big deal for her to introduce me to her toys.
Eventually, I was able to wean her off the alien penis when we were together, because watching her stroke herself with the quick skill of a concert violinists fingers was so much more hypnotic.

So, lesson learned: we love it when you treat your clitoris right, preferably, in front of us, or while our mouth is on you, or when we’re inside of you, taking care of bidness.
And don’t downplay the educational aspects of mutual masturbation: it is important to learn the rhythms that a person needs in order to bust the dam down and unleash that tidal wave of yes. This is all so win/win! Sexy AND enlightening!
I don’t know how to make those of you who are freaked about by this get over your complex. I mean, no pressure: you’re gorgeous, desirable, and your immediate nekkidness is respectfully requested. It’s just that I can’t wrap my head around the reasons why you won’t share that which is awesome to all parties.

To dudes, masturbating, jerking off, cranking it out, choking the chicken, or whatever charming euphemism you have for it (I’m partial to “wrangling the dragon”) is just an everyday fact of life.

To dudes, masturbation is like a hobby. We do it to clear our minds, or because we’re bored, or to wake up fully, or as a reward. I recently celebrated Flag Day with a little self-love.
Granted, the male orgasm pales in comparison to the erotic plastic explosives hidden deep within the female anatomy.Which is why we can pretty much tug it on command — it’s like being your own Pez candy dispenser.
With porn or without, fantasizing about the woman we love or her best friend, it’s just something we do. With relish, but also, sometimes, just because it’s Tuesday.
I suppose in trying to empathize with women who are bashful about auto-buggery I could offer the only time in my life I was ever neurotic about masturbation.

I was raised a pretty devout Catholic, and self-gratification caused my first ideological schism with my faith. It was the beginning of John DeVore’s Great Personal Reformation, the first of many issue-oriented breaks with my church.
Pretty much from the get-go I knew masturbation was a no-no. And I swear I am not making this up, but I would pray for forgiveness after every instance of adolescent self-discovery. Crank it, pray and swear never to do it again, repeat. Sometimes three times a day.
I was, and remain, a libidinous little perv. I pleaded for moral pardon, but eventually there came the point where I drew a line in the philosophical and theological sand and declared to the cosmos, “This is awesome. Clearly, Morgan Freeman wants me to continue doing this.”
Even at the young age of 14, I possessed the analytical acumen so many of you have come to know and, in some cases, tolerate. That’s my brief flirtation with guilt regarding an activity that is so personal, so human, and so much fun.

That’s my overshare this week. No doubt I will regret it tomorrow. Thank you and have a great day.

"I don't want size to matter, but it does...."

Alex Allman, male sexuality expert, explains:  "This all began when my good friend Jennifer (not her real name) called me one evening, sounding desperate and asking for my help."
She told me that her husband Mark had a slightly below-average sized penis. Even though she loved sex with him, she felt that there was something missing.
She launched into a story about how several years earlier she had a lover who had a huge penis. Now she often found herself thinking about him.  She felt guilty because Mark was a great lover and a caring and wonderful husband whom she adored. But she just missed that feeling of fullness that she had with her ex. 

Of course she felt just awful, shallow and guilty to even be talking to me about it. Yet, she couldn't help her feelings about it. She didn't want to just push it down, repress it and then resent him for it later.

I'll tell you flat out that when Jennifer told me this story, my heart sank down to my knees.
First of all, Mark is a dear friend of mine as well. This did not sound like a situation that was good for their marriage at all. Frankly, I felt a bit embarrassed for him.
Secondly, I have been teaching men for nearly a decade that "size doesn't matter," and that "it's not the size of your boat, but the motion in your ocean that counts!"

This was not what I wanted to hear.
To make matters worse, Mark is a sex expert in his own right. He has been training in advanced tantra techniques for years. He even spent time living in San Francisco learning "orgasmic meditation" stroking techniques to give women extended orgasms and female ejaculation.
But now Jennifer was telling me that none of that mattered. During intercourse, when she wanted to feel closest to her man, she found herself disappointed by the size of his penis.

Continue Reading How Jennifer and Mark Solved Their Problem, Click Here
This article is ©2014 by Life Love Passion Inc and free under the Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 License and you may freely copy, distribute, blog, or post it anywhere, so long as the work is attributed to "www.RevolutionarySex.com" and "Alex Allman", and the text is unaltered.

It's Science: These Women Are Having More Orgasms Than You

We'll have what they're having.
Men orgasm more than women. It's just a simple fact of nature and it's really unfair, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. So dry your eyes, my darlings, and deal with it. But while that may be the case, we, the ladies of the world do have something in our corner that men do not: our orgasms are "more varied." Yes! It's true! It's science! Sometimes our orgasms are awesome, sometimes they're really, really awesome, and other times your mind is so blown, that between your shaking legs, racing heart, and the sweat on your brow, you’re not sure if you’ve been to the moon, the center of the earth, or raced about the universe on a comet all the way to Pleasure Town! Men’s orgasms, although they can differ in intensity, just can’t compete in variation.

A study into the sex lives of 6,500 U.S. men and women, between the ages of 21 and 65, of gay, straight, and bisexual sexual orientation, found that in addition to the varied orgasms that women experience, our climaxes are also far more unpredictable. Apparently, our orgasms like to keep things mysterious, yet spicy, just like us. 

The study also revealed that orgasm frequency is very much dependent on sexual orientation, although scientists can't really explain why. When having sex with a familiar partner, men orgasm 85 percent of the time, compared to straight women who orgasm only 63 percent of the time. However, once you toss in lesbians and bisexual women, the range in frequency gets even more interesting. Lesbians orgasm 75 percent of the time, while bisexual women are looking at a paltry 58 percent orgasm rate. I'm going to make an educated guess here that the 58 percent for bisexual women can be attributed to their sexual encounters with men. Sorry, dudes, but you just can't win them all.
Researchers think the reason why lesbians might be reaching climax more often is because lesbian sex lasts longer (straight men, please take note), and of course, women know women's body better than men, and are therefore more comfortable. Once again, these observations bring us back to the varied orgasms, and yes, because lesbians are the women who are having the most orgasms, they're also having the most varied orgasms. Basically, lesbians are having better sex than everybody.

But while all this information about orgasm frequency and the variations of them that women experience is really exciting for all us ladies out there, research can't really tell us why. In fact, this particular study concluded that these "finding demonstrate the need for further investigations into the comparative sexual experience and sexual health outcomes of sexual minorities." Um, OK then.

Takeaway? Men orgasm more than women, lesbians are the winners if orgasming were a contest, and guys really need to step-up their knowledge of the female anatomy. Yes, I think that's what we've gathered from this research that admits it still needs to do more research.

Why You Should Experience AMAZING Self Love Firsthand (Wink, Wink)

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Your Savvy And Sassy Guide To Sex Over 60

I am not promiscuous ...
On the contrary, I am a grown up Catholic girl with 20 years of bible believing Christianity in my past.
I simply find sex to be exhilarating after 60.
Orgasm and pleasure are not what I thought they were when I was 20. Orgasm is a separate experience from love, relationship and yes, men. It's available to anyone, including singles. 
Sexual pleasure is a great way to build up self esteem and heal a broken heart. Can you enjoy sex before your new relationship? Absolutely. It is your body after all. I know this is a sensitive subject, but that's why Pleasure For Singles exists; to discuss and celebrate pleasure in all forms.
When pursuing sexual pleasure as a 60-something year old, there are a lot of topics to explore:

Solo Sex

Just the word 'masturbation' is enough to throw an ice cold blanket on the sex drive of most Catholics. I still squirm a little bit when I say it. That is why I choose "Solo Sex" as my term of endearment for providing my own orgasm. Your body is capable of some amazing things and your imagination is key.
Friends With Benefits
There are a lot of questions you'll have to ask yourself before you jump into this kind of relaitonship:
Is it wrong to have a "only physical" relationship? Isn't what happens between consenting adults their own business? Have you ever had a sex buddy? Did it end well?  What did you learn?
Dating Younger Men
Cougar!? Curious about why older women dating younger men?  There are literally hundreds of young men out there cruising for "Cougars". What you have to ask yourself is:

How do you navigate the maze? Do you think dating a younger man feels like a fountain of youth? Why do younger men crave an older more experienced woman?
Sex Education For Ladies
If you are like me, ex-Catholic school girl, white-bread, vanilla-type girl, there is a lot about sex, orgasm and lifestyle that you haven't seen. Tasteful and practical info is out there. It is worth every second of the time you spend to get smart about sex and pleasure.
Sex And Dating
Does the "Three Date Rule" help you or hurt you (If you don't want sex after the third date there is no fourth date)? What do men expect? Do you have to compromise your core beliefs to be with a man? (The answer is no.)  When it seems like men want sex or they will leave, what do you do?

If you want to explore pleasure as a single and you are not a slut either, I would love to have you be part of the conversation! Sex is fun and sharing stories, tips and inspiration is the plan. 
You are a fabulous woman. Flawed? Of course, just like the rest of us. Lonely? Ditto. Tired of waiting? Ditto. Sexually starving? Now that, you can do something about.
Guess what? Life may have dealt you a Single label and changing that is hard. Life also dealt you a body capable of incredible sensual delights. Being single has nothing to do with partaking in the feast. Come be a satisfied single and see what happens!
Join us: Facebook.com/PleasureForSingles

​Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20 minute chat to explore your Sexual Confidence or lack thereof, click here.

Science Says If You Wear This During Sex, You'll Have Better Orgasms

Suit up and get down.
If you're having trouble in bed when it comes having an orgasm, you aren't alone.
Many folks out there struggle to reach the big "O". Many fake orgasms just in the hopes of pleasing their partners.
These people baffle me, but the path to orgasm never did run smooth I guess.
If you've tried all sorts of things to climax both solo and with a partner, it might be time to try something truly shocking.
Wear socks when you have sex.

That's right, I know, I had to clutch my pearls, too.
 A study done conducted by Gert Holstege discovered that socks helped make people feel warmth and safe. This soothed the section of the brain called the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex, which are areas that manage all that helpful stuff like panic, fear, anxiety, and danger. 
In her study, participants had sex without socks on. Polled afterwards, only half of them reported having an orgasm. After they were all given socks and had sex again, that number spiked to 80%!
Who knew that fashion's least interesting relation could inspire such heights of ecstasy.
Bonus points, the socks will keep your tootsies nice and snug when you start to get icy after having sex. ALSO let's talk about how they can help you grip and maneuver in more slippery bedroom type situations.

I hate wearing socks.
I hate wearing socks so much that I almost never do.
I hate wearing socks so much that I once accidentally invented them. Seriously. I bought a new pair of gorgeous shoes and about halfway through the day my feet were super sweaty and sore and I was like "man, if only there was some sort of liner you could slip over your feet to keep them comfortable in shoes."

Seriously. I thought that. It was almost as bad as that time Kim Kardashian invented Keeping Up With The Kardashians:
That said, if I had known earlier in my life that wearing sex in the sack would help me orgasm, I would've been all, "Quick, Carlos, pass the woolen knee socks!"
Also in this particular fantasy I am sexing a man named Carlos who has access to a lot of knee socks I guess.

The lesson we've learned here today? If you want to orgasm, wear socks.