At some point or another, we’ve all heard the idea that men hit their sexual peak at 18, while women hit theirs at 35. In other words, men and women never reach their peak simultaneously. But, as Tracy Moore writes for DSC, if ladies are in their prime later in life, does that mean maybe, just maybe, some men are as well? Can it be that guys, like girls, don’t go bananas for orgasms till their later years? We investigate below.
Origins. Before we get into any more specifics, it’s important to highlight where the idea that men and women sexually peak at different ages comes from. According to Medical Daily, the idea that men are peak horndogs at 18, while women aren't orgasm-crazed sl*ts until they are 35, comes from some (pretty outdated) Kinsey research. In fact, the data goes aallllll the way back to 1953.
Origins. As Moore explains for DSC, Kinsey researchers measured sex hormones in men and women in 1953 to find "that testosterone in men generally peaks at 18, when they are also most responsive to arousal.” Meanwhile, for women, estrogen peaks in their mid-to-late 20s. Interesting.
Origins. That said, fertility reportedly decreases at 35 for women. Meaning, that, it’s around that age when they begin to experience a higher desire to — yep, you guessed it — get a bun in the oven. This, in turns, results in them reaching their sexuality peak, according to Moore. Think: Samantha from “Sex and the City."
Misleading. While this idea of mistmatched sexual peaks has been around for quite seem time, it seems to be fairly misleading. What’s more, many people think it’s a flat-out lie. “Sexual peaks should not just be measured on a hormonal model, but should also include psychological well-being, maturity, and experience,” Medical Daily’s Lizette Borreli explains.
Misleading. Borreli goes on to explain what aspects sexual peaks should be measured on beyond a hormonal model. “Sex is psychological and is driven by mental factors like body confidence, personal sexuality, and feelings of intimacy with a partner, which makes Kinsey’s theory an inaccurate model of human sexual fulfillment,” she writes.
Common misconception. Nonetheless, the misconception that men reach peak horndog status at 18 persist. In a piece for Salon, Lisa Wade, a sociologist, explains how the notion has been maintained in society for so long. For example, in his research Kinsey used the number of weekly orgasms as part of what he considered “prime."
Common misconception. As Moore notes, Kinsey’s research raises concern for a number of reasons. The main one? That Kinsey's definition of “prime” is problematic "not only because men orgasm more often than women, not to mention differently, but also because orgasms and boners alone are not accurate metrics for good sex.” Facts.
Misconception. “Here are some things we’re probably not considering when we estimate men’s sexual peak: comfort with being intimate with another person’s body, skill at giving another person an orgasm, the ability to bring on or delay one’s own orgasms as wanted, and an encompassing appreciation for sensuality as well as sexual acts,” Wade writes for Salon. “In other words, when we say that men reach their sexual peak at 18, it’s worth asking: ‘peak for who!?’ A man with a few more decades may be a much better sexual partner than one on the brink of adolescence and adulthood.”
Culture. Unsurprisingly, Western society and culture also play a critical role in the alleged mismatched sexual peaks of women and men. Women, Moore writes, are pressured into viewing all things sexual “as a danger more than a pleasure, and to be sexy but not sexual.” The result? A “lifelong cultural repression and discomfort with their bodies that prevents women from being confident and comfortable in their sexuality."
Culture. Seemingly, it’s entirely in the realm of possibility that women get more comfortable and in tune with their bodies the older they get— especially once they hit their 30s. This makes them “more comfortable with expressing sexual desire and receiving sexual pleasure,” Moore explains. Cue the notion that women reach their sexual peak at 35.
Men. Of course, there are other ways of measuring a man’s prime in-between the sheets. "A man is also considered to reach his physical prime in his 30s because afterward, muscle mass begins to decline,” Moore writes. "But if a man decides to work out in his 40s or 50s and rebuild that mass, he may actually reach physical peak then."
Men. Previous research has also found a man’s peak to be when he is most attractive to women."One study put that age as a man’s 20s, when he is by far considered the most universally desirable,” Moore explains. "But the study also found that men tend to increase their desirability again in their 50s.” It’s called the “George Clooney Effect”— look it up when you get a chance.
The truth about being in your prime. Research aside, we should point out the obvious here and say that, well, a lot of this really depends on the person. Being in your prime — especially when it comes to sex — doesn’t really have anything to do with your age. And this is true for both men and women.
The truth about being in your prime. So, exactly what does being in your prime be about? Well, it’s a combination of things that when summed up make you feel bada*s. Writing for Salon, Wade states: "Instead of thinking about sexual peaks at all, perhaps we should use a different metaphor: sexual evolution. We are all forced to fight for our own sexualities, contending with cultural, interpersonal, psychological and physiological factors that conspire to limit our imagination. Instead of anticipating or mourning a golden time, the goal could be embracing our sexual experiences as they change throughout the life cycle, sometimes trading one good for another, but always with the aim of maximizing the good."
Takeaway. Bottom line? Being in your prime doesn’t really have to about your age, and it doesn’t even have to just be about sex. "The goal here is to forge an overall sense of self, and that’s the sort of thing that comes from a variety of life experiences,” Moore concludes. "A man’s prime should really come down to his personal assessment of having his life together, physically, sexually, financially or emotionally, or any combination therein.” Preach.
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