He’s drunk or drugged out. This is a sad side effect of partying that most people don’t talk about. Alcohol and other drugs (including MDMA) can cause a guy to be unable to orgasm. If he’s drinking and then shocked that he’s no longer able to climax, you might want to sit him down and explain that the bottle caused this issue - not you.
The poor guy is afraid of getting you pregnant. This one is particularly true with younger guys who are terrified of the extra line on a pregnancy test. When you don’t trust yourself orgasming with a girl, you’re not going to orgasm. It’s that simple.
He may be desensitized to sex. Studies have shown that things like adult film addiction and compulsive masturbation can make it difficult for a man to orgasm or even ejaculate. If he’s really wearing himself out with videos of Jenna Jameson, then it’s very possible that he’s shooting himself in the foot.
He’s just not a very sexual guy. Some people just aren’t into sex. It’s not that they don’t enjoy it, it’s just that they never quite really get into it enough to have a serious orgasm. They may just not be into having sex, but still go in for it because of the intimacy factor.
Sex is missing something. Some guys need a certain something in order to actually climax. It could be a certain fetish he’s into, or it could be legitimate intimacy. If he’s not getting that “X factor,” he might really struggle with climaxing. If you think this is the case, ask him what’s up. You might be surprised to find out what’s going on.
He’s stressed out about something else. Have you ever tried to have sex while you’re thinking about tax preparation or the spat you got into at work? It doesn’t really work out, does it? Well, if he’s worried about something non-sex related, it can distract him into not climaxing at all.
He’s got major performance anxiety. Truthfully, most men are terrified of displeasing their girls in bed and some even overthink it to the point of losing an erection. If he’s that nervous, his entire mind-body flow is probably going to get out of whack…and that can lead to a lack of a climax for you AND him.
Something about his past relationships are bugging him. Some guys have been very hurt by women in their past, and that can mean that it takes them a long time to actually get to the point that they can let go of themselves in bed. Until he gets over the past baggage, it’s going to be hard for him to orgasm - or even ejaculate.
He also could have a UTI. Surprise! This is actually one of the symptoms men have when they have a UTI or a prostrate infection. Of course, with this issue, it’s not the only symptom they’ll be experiencing. Feel free to pass him the cranberry juice.
It could also be a longterm medical issue. There is a legitimate issue called delayed ejaculation, and it happens with guys who can get an erection but can’t fully orgasm without a lot of work. Oddly enough, a lot of men who have this issue can orgasm solo - and often it’s faster than with a girl.
He’s really into you, and is spazzing. If a guy gets really into a girl, one of two things can happen. Either he’ll orgasm really quickly, or he’ll be unable to climax because he’s scared of his own feelings. With guys who are worried about intimacy or falling too hard, his own headspace could be what’s preventing him from orgasm.
It’s a religious guilt issue. There have been legitimate cases in which Catholic guilt made it hard for people to have an orgasm, even when they desperately wanted to climax. If your boyfriend was raised in a strict religious setting, this could be a scary side effect of his upbringing.
He’s tired. If you’ve ever just been woken up for sex, you’ll probably understand how hard it is to actually climax when you’re sleepy, groggy, or just sore all over. If he’s really been exerting himself at work or around the house, it’s time to let him rest up so he can get his own big O later.
It’s medication. Some medications can make it hard for a guy to get in the mood enough to ejaculate, let alone get in the mood to have a serious O. If you notice that the pills he’s taking is killing his sex drive, don’t blame yourself if he can’t climax. It may be a hormonal thing.
He’s not into you. Sadly, this is a small possibility. But, with this one, you often will have other issues that will suggest that he’s no longer attracted to you. Ask him to be honest if you get the feeling he’s lost interest. It’s for the best that you know.
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