It will likely hurt the first time you have sex after baby. It will hurt a lot, actually. There’s a reason why they call it “popping your postpartum cherry.” Everything is still bruised and stitched, and sex will not feel the same. Most women are worried about ever getting their groove back, but it’s very possible as long as you’re willing to work at it. Eventually, it will feel good again.
…Or it may take months, or even years. If you had majorly bad damage to your ladybits, it’s very common to take anywhere from 3 to 9 months to heal up. Some women can’t stand the idea of sex for years after it happens, just because of the fact that the birth was as traumatic as it was. This is also normal. Just, do what feels good for you.
Sometimes, your man will lose all attraction to you - or will feel like he can’t get kinky with you again. It’s sad, but it’s true. When a man stops seeing you as a sexy wife and starts seeing you as the “mother of his children,” some guys will stop seeing you as a sexual person. It’s called the Madonna-Whore Complex, and it can kill a bedroom fast. You need to get your man into therapy if you notice this happening.
Speaking of which, you might pee during sex. The same muscles that control your vagina are the ones that control your ability to hold pee. If your pelvic floor muscles took a beating, it’s possible that you may actually pee on your man the first couple of times you two have sex. Usually, this will go away with kegel exercises and more sex.
That being said, a lot of women who were once very sexual lose their sex drives altogether after having a kid. It’s a weird sensation, and a lot of women who have this happen wonder if something is wrong with them. They may feel worried about being able to make their husbands happy in marriage, or they may feel strange about seeing themselves turn asexual. You can talk about this with a doctor - it could be a hormonal issue or a psychological issue.
You might also go at it before 6 weeks… This is actually fairly common with women who have had an easy birth. The 6 week mark is the standard for gynecologists to advise, but in reality, most of the time, if you’re ready to go again, you’re good to go. (Still, you might want to check with a gynecologist before you do.)
Queefing is also an issue. To be fair, you did just push out an entire human being out of your vagina. There may be a bit of air issues going on there as it heals up. Usually, this goes away with time too. The only time it won’t is if there’s a hole between your vaginal canal and your anus…and that’s a whole ‘nother article.
You will probably be temporarily looser down there. Most doctors don’t want to scare women, but there is a good chance that you will be looser there. And, for some women, it’s a lot looser. The majority of the time, a woman will still be able to regain her tightness down there. It will take time, and it will take kegels, but it can be done.
Sexually, what used to work might not get you off anymore. Women have reported everything from hypersensitive girl parts to totally desensitized girl parts. Some even had their sexual fetishes change after pregnancy - or even go so far as to change the kind of men they’re into. This is not abnormal in the least bit. You’ll need time to relearn yourself.
Breastfeeding can kill your libido, too. When you’re being touched and sucked on for milk, you’re not going to even think of sex. It’s going to be very difficult to get back in the mood at times, especially considering that breastfeeding causes chemicals to release that naturally reduce sexual desire. It’s understandable, all things considered.
You might also be a bit dry. Yes, it’s true, giving birth makes you drier than you used to be. However, this is usually a temporary thing, and it’s also something that can easily be addressed with lube. Your body just went through a rollercoaster ride, so it’s absolutely crucial to be patient with yourself.
And, oh yeah, Post Partum Depression makes it really hard to get it on. You’re mourning the loss of your old body. You’re dealing with a cranky, crying baby. You feel really cruddy…and you’re supposed to want to have sex after this all?! PPD wreaks havoc on your ability to enjoy anything, let alone sex. You may want to talk to a doctor if you’re experiencing symptoms.
Though it is rare, some women get TIGHTER after a childbirth. Don’t ask us how it happens, but it does. It’s apparently caused by how your body heals. You might not even believe a baby came out of you!
But, there’s a chance you will stay loose. It’s not what you want to hear, but it’s true. Some women have major tearing in their pelvic floors - even to the point that the space between their anus and vaginal canal is totally torn. For these women, there’s a chance that they may need surgery to get back to where they once were.
Sex can hurt, even if you didn’t have a vaginal birth. It’s true. C-section mommies have also experienced a decent amount of pain their first time they had sex. Also, it’s important to remember that stitches can tear, and that when you pee, it’ll feel like fire coming out of you because pee burns stitches. Ouch.
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