Some people are fiends for sex. Get a little dose, and they want more. Some feel as if they can go years without boning. But what is it about experiencing a sexual drought that drives some people cuckoo bananas? It might be the absence of the afterglow...
drought? Speak up!
Sex. Broadly writer Gabby Bess brought up an interesting question. You know that feeling when you haven’t had sex in awhile? Even if it’s only for a few days… You start to get a little uncomfortable, right? Gotta scratch that itch! But why do you feel that initial feeling of discomfort? One of Bess’ friends pushed her to look for the answer.
Friend. Bess explains, “I was talking with my friend Erin* and she told me she gets anxious when she doesn’t get to have sex with her boyfriend after a few days.” And honestly girl, we have felt that feeling! Trust! Erin explained to Bess, “I feel amazing during and after sex with my partner. Then – if three or four days go by without sleeping together – I start to worry.”
Afterglow. Could it be the afterglow? That’s what Bess suggests. Oh, you don’t know the afterglow…? Researchers at Florida State University made a discovery that kind of explains why you’re fiending for orgasms after 48 hours of no sex. According to The Daily Mail’s Mia De Graaf, “Sex triggers a 48-hour ‘afterglow’ that helps couples to bond, new research reveals… Researchers have concluded that the lovey-dovey feeling lingers for two whole days.”
Happy. You can blame sex for giving you a little burst of oxytocin. De Graaf referred to it as the cuddle hormone. But according to Live Science’s Stephanie Pappas, lots of people think of it that way. She writes, “It’s sometimes known as the ‘cuddle hormone’ or the ‘love hormone,’ because it is released when people snuggle up or bond socially.” And that feeling leaves you on a high. So it makes sense you feel a little low when it wears off two days later.
Hmmm. Well is it actually the sex that keeps you feeling puffed up or the oxytocin? Maybe an oxytocin spray could simulate that same afterglow feeling. Apparently those sprays exist. Pappas writes that they have been used medicinally, “Oxytocin nose sprays also have been considered for use in treating autism. The increased processing could mean that a burst of oxytocin might help cement behavioral therapy for kids with the disorder.”
But… There hasn’t been much exploration into oxytocin spray usage just for fun. Pappas explains, “there are no long-term studies on the side effects of the legitimate oxytocin sprays used in hormone research; most studies give people one dose of the hormone only.” Looks like you guys are just going to keep hopping back into the sack if you want that happy-go-lucky feeling post-coitus.
Reddit. Honestly, just the thought of having to go a few months without sex is giving us the chills. But we wanted to see if we were the only ones feeling that way. What’s the longest time you’ve ever gone without sex? We wanted to see what some real people had to say. We headed over to Reddit, because Redditors always have an opinion about this sort of thing. Days, now that’s not so bad. Months, that’s making our skin itch a bit. But some people have gone years!!!
Years. User puttputt_in_thebutt says that it has been years since they last entered the bone zone. We’re praying for you buddy. They explained, “I’m 22 now. I had a girlfriend in high school for a short period of time, so it’s been 6 years since I’ve been on a date. I’m trying to change that- I’ve had a Tinder, OKC, and a POF for a year that I’m always trying to improve.”
Years. User cunt91 also said it had been a few years for them. Is this a common thing for people? He explained, “I’m 36. Almost 3 years, on 3 separate occasions. Both stretches I was sort of intentionally not looking for action, so I could focus on myself & my career. It’s hard to get motivated to get laid hone all you can land are fat, old, or psychologically damaged girls, because you have no money and no status. I’d rather have no sex.”
Year. Okay, maybe a year isn’t that bad in hindsight? Maybe? User leonprimrose explained, “27, Between my first and second people was about a year. I went on a couple dates and fooled around a very small amount in the time but not much and no sex. Afterwards, until the end of college it was about a month and a half between various hookups, fwbs or girlfriends and whatnot.”
High. Apparently the libido bounce back is pretty damn high after you wait a year or two to have sex. Maybe we’ll give it a try? User DrLeoMarvin explained, “31, I’m married now and I was married before 7 years. The two years in between leaving and meeting my now wife I think longest I went was around two months and I was losing my mind by that point. My libido is incredibly high.”
Years. We’re sorry, but this user might have taken the freakin’ cake on this one! But it seems like they had a good reason. User speccynerd said the longest sexual drought they’ve experienced was years long. Years! Ouch. They wrote, “I’m 35. Went 7 years (between 20 and 27). It was a dark time for me. Drinking like a fish but/and therefore always poor. Working a dead-end job. Couldn’t afford decent clothes. Couldn’t let go of the fact that I was smart and needed to rub it in, which didn’t make me popular.”
Well.. We’ve got to be honest. There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from sexy times every once in awhile. As much as we love doing the deed, it isn’t healthy to have sex be the central focal point of your life. It’s nice to take a bit of a detox and chill for a bit. And whether you wait a few days, a few months, a few years.. or some of you, a few seconds.. you’ve got to do what is best for you!
You. What has the longest you have ever gone without sex? Are we talking day, months... please, don't tell us years! We want to hear from you in the comments section below. How did you deal with your sexual drought? Or is it not even that hard to wait awhile without getting a bit of sexy times in? Speak up!
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