Polite Ways To Tell Your Partner They’re Bad At Oral

The last thing anyone wants to do is call their partner out for being bad at oral. It doesn't exactly inspire love and romance. If anything, you may as well be digging them into a hole of doubt. Oral should be fun. It should be easy. But not everything goes the way we hope it will. Sometimes someone goes down on us and fails to trigger the fun button. All we're left with is disappointment, boredom and possible teeth marks. If you find yourself in this particular scenario, and you're nervous about hurting your partner's feelings, fear not. There is a way around this predicament. Keep reading to find polite ways to tell your partner they're bad at oral.

Ask them to try something else. You don't have to actually tell them they're not doing something pleasant, but you can be smooth about it. Just ask them to extend their reach, so to speak (even if what they're reaching with is their mouth).

Explorative. It'll make them want to get more explorative.

Give them some direction. You know what every good movie needs? A director. Without one, you'd get a bunch of talented actors tearing apart the set like monkeys and the whole crew sabotaging Hollywood to the point that movies would cease to exist. This is why you need to give your partner some direction. It'll keep them in the know.

Work with their head. You can say an awful lot with your friends, so that's exactly what you should do. If your partner is doing something wrong, redirect them with some light pressure. Tilt their head, move it down, move it up — you're in control now!

Offer suggestions. There's nothing healthier in a relationship than communication. If oral just isn't what you want it to be, talk to your partner like you would any other time. Tell them you wanted to try something (even if it's something you've already tried before) to get them eager to experiment.

Encourage something specific. If you know exactly what you want and your partner just isn't doing it, don't keep it a secret. Tell them you want your balls licked like this or that you like when they focus on the clitoris. You don't have to be shy. You've already got your pants pulled down.

Articulate through sounds. You know what is almost impossible to confuse? Moaning. If someone moans negatively, you'll be pretty aware that you're doing something wrong. If someone moans positively, you'll keep doing whatever you're doing. So don't make them feel uncomfortable. Just moan.

Mention something after you're done. Maybe it's weird for you to give them direction while they're going at it. That's OK. Simply wait until you finish and talk about it casually. "Babe, I love you, but there was one point where your teeth kind of scraped against my d*ck." She's not going to hate you. You're being honest.

Show them a porno that explains it better. There is a porno for everything. So if you love it when someone licks circles around your a**hole while tickling the tip of your d*ck, just find that video and show it to your partner. But do it casually. Be like, "Oh snap, I love that. Wanna try?"

Tell them what you like specifically before they start. Before they're on their way down to oral town, give them some suggestions as to what you're into. Tell them where to focus and what to do/what not to do. You're not being judgmental. You're just letting them know.

Tell them about your most sensitive areas. There are some parts of your genitalia that feel so good when they get tongue-tention (that's attention from the tongue, you plebeians), but there are also parts that are just too sensitive.

Ask him to try different things so that you can settle on what feels best. You never really know what you like until you try it, so do the same with oral.

Tell him you want him to find what makes you feel your best during oral. This will make him feel like it has nothing to do with him, but with you.

Behave discomfortingly when they do something you don't like. If something hurts, don't hide it. That's just stupid. You don't want to be stuck suffering through oral for however long your relationship lasts, when you can be enjoying it. If it hurts, don't fight back the wincing. Make that wincing known.

Oral Sex Positions That Do It For You Too

Going down on your man is always a good time — but, don't you ever wish you could get some pleasure out of it too? Like, not in the right alongside your bae while you're giving him the best BJ of his life? Well, now you don't have to wish it, because we've outlined five sex positions that'll make it a reality. Yes, really. Here, we take a look at five sexy oral sex positions that do it for you too!

69 with a twist. Have your guy lie on his back, while you hop on over him. Then, open wide — like, waaaay wide. Now the fun begins.

69 with a twist. Sexily arch your back, and lift your hips up and away from his mouth. Have him use his digits or a sex toy on your bits, gently providing stimulation while you do your thing down below.

69 with a twist. If he’s up for it, he can even slip his tongue in. Not only is this position amazing for you, it’s pretty intense for him as well. Just think about it: You’re giving him an upside-down BJ while he has an up close and personal view of your love zone. Win-win.

Happy New Years. Are you and bae fans of power dynamics in the bedroom? This position is perfect then. Lie on your back, as you let him into your mouth with his head pointed toward your knees. Oh, yes.

Happy New Years. Assuming he’s supporting himself with his arms on the bed, have some fun with yourself. Use your hands and fingers to caress your breasts, or masturbate — heck, do both simultaneously.

Happy New Years. In this position, you’re totally trusting him wight eh control of the depth of penetration, so make sure you give him a signal if he’s going too deep or you’re uncomfortable. Either way, if you’re into rough play, this one’s a goodie. And as to why we call it the “Happy New Years,” well, it’s because the balls drop. *Wink*

The wet hump. Dry humping is, like, so last year. (Or 2004.) Nevertheless, if you’re into the classic BJ set-up — you down below, while he’s lying down — it’s about time you switch things up for your own sake.

The wet hump. While you’re going to town, straddle one of thighs and grind against his leg. Bonus tip: Be sure to be wet so he can literally feel how turned on you are. Trust us, knowing you’re happy giving him a BJ will dial up his level of arousal by the dozens.

The wet hump. The best part of this slip-n-slide position? You’ll be gently stimulating your clitoris with his body, which means you’ll be getting off too. Halle-motha’effin-lujah!

Double the fun. Have your guy stand in front of you, completely naked. Then, kneel before him, slowly making your way up his legs with your lips to reach your final destination. Once there, look directly into his eyes to let him know what’s about to come.

Double the fun. As you’re giving him the time of his life (no exaggeration here, folks), ride on a sex toy. Whether it’s a dildo or a vibrator is totally up to you — just make sure it’s something you enjoy. Duh.

Double the fun. As Cosmopolitan points out, you may want to opt for a rabbit-style toy with an additional part that vibrates against your C-spot. Of course, this is only if you’re into both internal and external stimulation. (But, like, who isn’t?!)

All aboard! We’ve all been there: You’re going down on your man and he’s super into — so into it, in fact, that you just hop on *it* because you’re so overwhelmed by how hot he looks (and how hard he is). Well ladies, we’ve got some good news for you: Do this move more often.

All aboard! Climb on top of him for a few seductive, pleasurable thrusts before sliding off and going down on him again. Obviously, if you're not into how sex tastes, this isn’t for you. But if you are, you better bet your guy’s eyes will roll back as he watches you taste yourself on him.

All aboard! Go back and forth between taking him in your mouth and riding him. The good thing about this is that it’ll also make him not finish too fast, if you know what we mean. Pro tip: Take his hand to your clitoris when you’re on top for extra pleasure.

Do most men go down and give oral sex to women?

Contrary to popular wisdom again, men — especially older men — give as much oral sex to women as women give to men. While the difference is greatest in the 20 to 24 year old range (with only 55 percent of men saying they’ve given it in the past year, compared to 74 percent of women), the tables turn as we age. In the 30 to 39 age range, 69 percent of men report having given a woman oral sex, while only 59 percent of women have.

I remember when I was in high school, and there was a conversation taking place about oral sex, a fellow male student spoke of how he loved receiving it but was appalled at the prospect of giving it. He said it was disgusting. I had a boyfriend around the same time period who did not perform it. He went down twice for a few seconds each time and clearly didn't seem to know what he was doing, anyway. I'm very hygienic, and my husband says I taste wonderful, so I know that didn't have any bearing.

I’ve observed other comments from men over the years. It seems there are many men who are very eager to receive oral pleasures from women but are not so eager to return the service. I find it rather offensive due to the biological facts that women are generally more in need of foreplay and that most women cannot achieve orgasm through sexual intercourse alone.

My husband is one of those men who are very passionate about giving oral sex; he loves doing it. He says it's very intimate and really turns him on, assuming, of course, that the woman is clean and consumes a good diet. And he's very good at it. I consider myself lucky. I remember being totally thrown by surprise the first time he went down on me, when we were sixteen.

I wish more men would really consider doing this to their women, especially if they are happy to receive oral sex from those same women.

Editing to add: I just wanted to add preemptively that I think it’s fine that some people simply do not get into certain sexual activities, but I do think there is a problem when men actually expect to be given oral sex by a woman but are appalled by returning the favor, especially when it's the woman who really needs the foreplay. Many men out there are very selfish and are into sex just for their own pleasure.

People are having orgies where one person secretly has HIV and nobody is allowed to use a condom

EXTREME “sex roulette” parties, where one person has HIV and nobody is allowed to wear a condom, are on the rise.

Most of the dangerous orgies are thought to be attended by gay men.

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Party goers are said to decrease their risk of contracting HIV by taking anti-viral medication

But these racy meetups are said to be commonplace in wealthy circles in Serbia.

Experts claim that it is the thrill of the unknown that drives people to take part in the risky orgies.

Participants have no way of knowing if they will be infected or not.

Dr Josep Mallolas of Hospital Clinic Barcelona said: “There is everything: sex roulette parties, or sex parties you can only attend if you already have HIV.”

The Spanish doctor told el Periodico that the rise of these parties meant that people had lost respect for HIV.

But, revellers can decrease their chances of contracting the incurable virus by taking medication.

Because of this, the orgies are known as ‘blue’ parties.

Psychosexual therapist Kate Morley told HelloU: “Going to sex roulette parties is about the risk, partygoers think the higher the risk, the stronger the thrill.

“In the case of sex parties the intense high is as you combine orgasm with high adrenaline.”

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Spanish doctors warn of the rise of risky sex parties where one person secretly has HIV and condoms are banned

According to a stripper named Tijana, the unusual and very risky parties came from Serbia.

She said that the orgies were known as Serbian sex roulette, a play on Russian roulette.

Tijana said: “I can see that everyone is talking about sex parties now, but in fact they have been common for a long time even here in Serbia.

"In fact what really shocked me was this bizarre variation that seems popular for extreme sex. People who turn up for the party wear masks, and one of them has HIV.

“The wealthy organise these sex parties for other rich people. The real kick for these people is apparently the risk that they might be the one having sex with the HIV-infected partner.”