Polite Ways To Tell The Person You Love That Their Genitals Smell Bad

Whether it's their breath or their underarms, telling your boyfriend or girlfriend that they're giving off an unpleasant smell is no easy fete. What’s worse, however, is telling them that their —  — genitals smell bad. Uh, talk about awkward. Nevertheless, if your partner does have a bad odor down there, there are ways to approach the subject without hurting their feelings or destroying their self-worth. While broaching hygiene-related problems is never easy — no matter who you’re doing with — sometimes you gotta sacrifice a little to get a lot in return. So if you want to get rid of the stench in your sex life, follow these tips below.

An introduction. When it comes to taking care of themselves hygienically, some people get it and some people just don’t. Still, no one gets it right all the time — especially when it comes to their love organs down south. So, how do you approach your partner if their bits, well, stink?

Smells 101. From a very young age, we’re taught that genitals are not only private and dirty, but smelly as well — that they need to be kept super clean all. the. time. And as we enter adulthood, we’re told that our nether regions shouldn’t smell of our natural odor; rather, they should carry the scent of soap, shower gels or body sprays.

Smells 101. After years of pressure regarding how their privates smell, people can start to feel unable to relax and genuinely enjoy sex without feeling insecure or anxious. Not to mention, this leaves folks largely unaware of how different genitals are in terms of odor. Just how two vaginas don’t look the same, they don’t smell the same either.

Smells 101. Seemingly, all genitals have a natural scent that can vary between people. For instance, for women specifically, their scent depends on a slew of things, including their menstrual cycle or if they’re pregnant. Additionally, bits will smell differently during and after intercourse, or depending if someone has pubic hair or not. These are all things you must take into account before broaching the subject with your partner.

What’s bothering you. Pinpointing exactly what is irritating you about their smell should be your first move. Are they a new sexual partner? If so, are you simply not used to their scent? Are there instances when they smell stronger than usual?

What’s bothering you. Outline exactly what’s bothering you about the odor they give off. Also: Make note as to whether the smell is either worrying you or turning you off — or both.

Causes. There’s a whole checklist of things that might be causing their stench, from infection to non-standard cleaning. Some conditions like thrush and bacterial vaginosis can cause particularly non-pleasant smells along with discharge, while STIs can have a fishy or cheesy odor. If you think this might be the case, it would be sensible for you both to have a check up just to be safe. However, it’s important to note that a smelly private part doesn’t always equal an infection.

Causes. If your partner is uncircumcised, smegma might be the nose-offending culprit. If you’re unfamiliar with the term, smegma is a cheesy substance that forms under the foreskin — safe to say, it doesn’t make for an appetizing aroma.

The conversation. Before bringing it up with your partner, you might want to try thinking about what exactly it is that you want to say. Pro tip: Try writing down what you want to talk about, and framing the conversation in affectionate terms. But also, make sure you really — like, really — think about what you are asking of them.

The conversation. Secondly, think about the words you want to use — phrases like “you smell bad” or “I think you taste disgusting” are obvious no-gos, and will only make them feel ashamed of themselves. Use words that covey the issue assertively, but that also won’t blame them for their scent, whether natural or not.

The conversation. Now that you know what you want to say and how, be direct. You’re an adult supposedly in an adult relationship, so direct communication is truly the only way to go about this. Simply put, be as open and honest with them as you can be.

The conversation. Approach them and let them know that you want to discuss something that affects both of you. You can start the conversation by saying something like, “I really want to go down on you, but you have a *insert adjective here* scent.” We’ll go out on a limb and say that they’ll agree to clean up rather than forgo oral.

The conversation. It’s important to remember that timing is key. So, don’t bring the matter up right before you’re about to get hot and heavy with them. Instead, bring it up during casual conversation. (Think: Casual at home, not casual out on a movie date.)

The conversation. Not comfortable being that up-front with them? Try a more subtle approach. Clean up your partner by seductively suggesting you take a shower or bath together before you start things up in the bedroom. Not only will you wash away their scent, but it can also work as a form of foreplay. Win-win.

The conversation. Oh, and remember that little thing called smegma? If your partner is suffering from the substance, gently retract the foreskin when you clean around the glans — the head of the penis — while showering together. Of course, this is assuming you’re the one doing the washing and massaging for him.