Scary Statistics That Prove We Desperately Need To School Men On Consent

In a perfect world, no one would be threatened by a potential sexual assault.  But in reality, it's more common than anyone would like to believe.  When you look around at the men you love in your life, you could never imagine them going so far or assaulting a woman.  However, every rapist is someone's family member or friend and the fact is, even non-rapists aren't always completely clear on consent.  Plus, men can be victims of sexual assault themselves.  The proof is in the numbers and there's more teaching to be done.  Here are some scary statistics that show how desperately we need to school men on consent.

Women and academia. A startling 25 percent of women will be a victim of sexual assault by the time they're through with college. That number is ridiculously high, and proof in itself that everyone should be aware of consent and its importance in the bedroom.

Men are victims as well. 3 percent of men have been raped. This is likely a low estimate, because men rarely report rape because of the stigma attached to it. Many people believe that men actually can’t even be raped, which is startling considering anyone can be raped.

Men don’t know the true definition of rape. According to Violence and Gender, 31.7 percent of men surveyed said they would forcefully have sex with a woman again her will, but only 13.6 percent of men would rape someone. While that’s a terrifyingly high amount, the scarier fact is that 18 percent of men would rape without even know that its rape.

Most sexual assaults go unreported. This is because 35 percent of assault victims don’t even know that they’ve been raped by definition. Any nonconsensual sex is rape, and enthusiastic consent is the only reason someone says that they want sex.

Not only sex needs to be consensual. According to a survey by The Association of American Universities, 33.1 percent of women, and 8.6 percent of men experience forced sexual contact in college. This means unwanted touching or kissing. Anytime anyone touches you, they need your permission no matter who they are.

False claims are rare. According to the Clute Institute an overwhelming amount of college students believe that over half of rape claims are false. In fact, around 2 percent of rape claims are actually false. Everyone should be aware of this reality.

Many things mean no. 18 percent of college students actually believe that as, long as someone doesn’t verbally say no, it’s not rape. Considering impairment, consciousness and other factors that could stop someone from saying no, there are many other ways someone can protest. Not actively saying yes is not consent.

Enthusiastic consent. Saying ‘yes’ can also be out of fear. If someone feels pressure or is hesitant, they are not consenting. Saying yes under extreme pressure or force is also not consent. Both parties should be enthusiastically consenting to sex before intercourse takes place.

Frequent consent. Anytime something new happens in a sexual encounter, one should check in for consent. Having oral sex and switching to penetration without consent is rape. Touching someone in any way or forcing a sexual act on them is rape whether or not you’re already engaged in sex acts.

Being naked is not consent. 47 percent of students believe that being naked is giving consent to sexual activity. You can be naked, or even already having sex, but as soon as you say no, you have taken away consent. There’s no excuse and sex should be on the terms of both parties.

Unknowing rapists. Someone can rape without knowing that they’re raping, which is exactly why consent education is important. Many people who commit sexual assaults think that they are entitled for some reason or have incorrect ideas of what consent is.

Sexual consent education in colleges. College campuses are where sexual assaults happen frequently. It’s a growing issue on college campuses, partially because of lack of consent education. Though children should be taught about consent in early education to prevent blurry ideas of what it means, by college it’s crucial.

The pushback. The fact that there’s pushback on consent education at all is proof that we need it. Those who don’t face the reality of rape are the same people who have skewed perceptions of sexual assault. If they think it’s unnecessary, there’s no way they are realistic about the frequency in which sexual assault happens, especially on campus.

Why men and women should both take consent courses. Both men and women can be rapists, and they can also be victims. Having a clear understanding of how sexual experiences should be with consent will make them well equipped to report assaults. Rapes are grossly underreported, and if we have clearer definitions of consent, people will know when they did or did not consent to sex.

The stigma of rape. It seems that many men don’t want to talk about rape. In cases of their own assaults, they don’t report it because of the stigma, and in cases of assaults on others, they don’t want to be grouped with rapists. However, discussing consent and sharing education on it is how they can be true allies to rape victims and stop assault in its tracks.